Date: 23 Apr 2010 2:46 pm Title: Why
I loved it! That was awesome!
It explained a lot!
Date: 05 Dec 2007 4:03 pm Title: Why
that was great will there be more?
Date: 14 Jan 2005 10:36 pm Title: Why
This is an interesting character introspective. I like seeing David's thoughts on why he torments Star, and I thought it was a nice addition that he won't physically hurt her, but mentally, she's fair game. There were a few typos that jerked me out of the story, but that is easily repaired. This was an interesting idea; thank you for sharing it with us.
Date: 14 Jan 2005 7:08 pm Title: Why
This is good- great use of the film, some interesting concepts, and easy to read. But there are a few problems. A few mistakes that would be easily corrected spoil the flow of the story. I don't think you need a beta reader, but another run through might pick up on those little errors. The other thing is- David turned Michael because Max told him to. I like the idea in your story, and I think it could have been partly true, but I'm fairly certain that the implication in the film is that Max wanted Michael and Sam, and David was his way of getting them. No? Yes? Maybe? Never use & instead of and. Apart from that, this is good stuff, and I'd love to see more from you. If you've got any questions, feel free to ask. Good luck, bub.
Date: 20 Dec 2004 4:09 am Title: Why
I must say, you really nailed that one on the head! Wonderful concept of David and Star. The scheming devil in disguise. Great use of the actual text and connecting your ideas to the movie.
Date: 01 Dec 2004 8:59 pm Title: Why
I love anything with David and Star in it. And this story is so good I hope to see it continue